Monday, April 23, 2012

Business and Politics Do Not Mix

I see in the news various pieces about businesses out there throwing lawyers, guns, and money at various political interest in order to further their own business interest.  Me being a new business owner and all I thought I'd better see where I stood on issues.

I gathered together everything that makes my business an entity,  a couple of jars of sauce, a bag of charcoal, tongs, cleaver, articles of organization, tax ID document, and my goggles and I asked them all serious questions about how we should move forward.

"Which party are we going to be affiliated with?"  The silence was deafening.  I realized pretty much as soon as the words left my mouth that I had asked a dumb question.  My sauce is meant to be enjoyed by everyone regardless of race, religion, sexual orientations, or political affiliations therefore had to remain non-partisan.  "Unaffiliated then."  I  made a note on my clipboard.

"Are we going to advocate any religions?"  I was batting a thousand.  I realized that the government papers like articles of organization and tax papers must be kept separate from religions.  The steely sheen on the clever reminded me that all of the major religions had an opinion about the status of pork as a food source.  The stiff expression on the tongs reminded me that a lot of people had not forgotten the inquisition.   I wrote "No religious affiliations of any kind."

"Any charity affiliations?"  My checkbook fell off the stool and into the floor.  "No charities then."

"Well, for the record, moving forward do we believe in anything?"  The screensaver on the computer which had been laying down photo's of past barbecues chose that moment to show a slide with my companies, mission statement.

Mission Statement:
To provide time-honored Eastern North Carolina-style sauce, barbecue, and pig picking experiences in a fun and uncommon way using tried and true methods from generations of know how, right to your plate.

"I'm hearing you on FM".

I looked at the bag of charcoal which had offered no opinion up to this moment wondering if it had anything to add. The bag read "Lump Hardwood Charcoal". It was then I realized something that should have occurred to me a long time ago.

I'm talking to a bunch of inanimate objects. Businesses are not "alive" or "sentient" and therefore had no business offering its opinion or support to any religious or political entity. I don't give a wet slap how much some rich tycoon paid to make it a law otherwise. I'm here to make sauce and cook pig and that's about it.

'Nuff said.

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